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Nag, nag, nag

January 16, 2010

Sometimes you just have fears. Okay, wait, let me rephrase. Sometimes I just have fears. Be they legitimate, or absolutely crazy, sometimes I get nervous about something, or concerned, or reeeeally focused on one aspect of my life, and that tiny, little, perhaps insignificant or irrelevant thing takes over.

It nags. It really does. It pulls, it grabs, it pokes, it jabs, it HURTS sometimes! People say, “forget about it!” but it’s hard to forget about the sharp pain flogging your mind!

I try to ignore it, put it away, leave it alone, forget about it. But most of the time, its a losing battle. I try to throw myself into other things, immerse myself in the things I love, but its just not the same. If my mind isn’t right, I’m just not right. I’m not fully right. I’m just….not. And I don’t really know what to do about that.

Yes, there are some moments of clarity, when I can tell myself that I’m okay, that it’s okay, that the world is turning and that I’m growing and that there is a life out there that’s waiting for me to live!

I just have to practice staying in THAT place. That beautiful, safe zone. Does anyone have a map? Directions? Perhaps the numbers of some good hotels in that region? I plan on staying there for as long as possible — I just need a little help.

One Comment leave one →
  1. January 26, 2010 9:12 pm

    If someone gives you a map – share it with me!

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