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Uh-oh … I’ve got Dempsey fever

June 24, 2010

I think I’m in love with Clint Dempsey. This is a problem for a number of reasons.

1. He hasn’t met me yet, so he has no way of knowing that I’m the one.

2. He’s very far away — all the way in South Africa. The chances of us serendipitously running into each other in the Gatorade aisle at Trader Joes is very, very slim.

3. He’s a little bit older than I am — only, like, nine years … but, whatever, right? I mean, true love should not be bound by the insignificancies of age. I mean, God was a couple thousand years older than Mary — but that didn’t stop them, did it? And just look at how great their kids were!

4. He’s from Texas. I hate Texas. He doesn’t hate Texas; In fact, he likes Texas very much. We would probably have to visit Texas very often to see his family because he loves his family (which I’m a fan of). I can get over that. Hatred of Texas < Love of Clint. Moving on …

5. He is married — with child. That’s going to make our flaming romance a little bit more difficult to spark up. But hey, if Angelina can do it, then, dammit, so can I!

Just … just look at this man:

I mean, what’s not to love? You can see why I’m willing to endure all of the pain and heartbreak because, well, he’s worth it. Is it true that he may never actually know who I am? Yes. Will I probably live out the rest of my days with a gaping, empty feeling in my soul, knowing I’ll never meet him, let along marry him? Most likely. Is it all worth it?

Well … I think so …

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Kirk permalink
    June 25, 2010 8:57 pm

    I can’t believe you just said you hate Texas! You’re gonna have to re-earn the right to live to be 70.

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