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The five greatest foods of all time

June 29, 2010

Yes. I’m hungry. And these are in no particular order, by the way.

1. Nutella

I understand this isn’t really a food — it’s more of a spread, but I think if you could spread nutella over the world, it could most definitely bring about world peace. I didn’t know about nutella until senior year of high school. I was at a party, and somehow, nutella appeared in the room. I said, “What is that?” and literally everyone freaked out. “You don’t know what nutella is?” “Get this girl a spoon!” When they motioned to get me a spoon,  I said innocently, “Shouldn’t I put it on something?” A friend smiled back at me and said, “You obviously have never tried this before.” He was right. I ate that nutella like it was yogurt — but it most definitely is not yogurt. A quick glance at the calorie content can tell you that — but the memory of that moment makes my mouth water. Nutella is ambrosia — I dare you to disagree.

2. Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza from California Pizza Kitchen

I used to be a caution CPK attendee. I’d go, order safely, enjoy my food, and leave. I never stepped outside of the box. I’d order a pepperoni pizza, or spaghetti and marinara, or a vegetable salad — and simply be done with it. Of course, those were delicious choices (everything at CPK is delicious) –but I didn’t know there was a whole, new level to the joy my taste buds  could be experiencing in that sacred place. So, one fateful day, I went to CPK with a few friends, and when the menus were brought to the table, I took mine from the waitress and immediately handed it over to my friend. I said to her, “Tell me what I want.” “What?” she said. “Tell me what I want,” I said. “I’ll have anything on this menu that you say. Just say something, and I’ll get it.” It was a daring move, and I should have been nervous when I saw the smirk that crossed my friend’s face after I spoke — but the next words from her mouth were, “She’ll have the Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza.” And from that moment on, I’ve never looked back.

3. Cereal

Now, I realize this is a really broad statement to make — to simply say that “cereal” in general is one of the greatest foods of all time. But, when you think about it — isn’t it? Before college, I lived in a home where my mother refused to buy “sugary” cereals. We always kept our cabinets stocked with Kashi, Honey Bunches of Oats, Fiber One, Corn Flakes, Special K and cereals of that nature. Over the years, I grew to love those kinds of cereals. I loved them, but I felt like I was missing something — like there was something more. Then I got to college. I went to the dining halls, and was in utter and blissful shock when I saw that not only did they have cereal — but they had EIGHT DIFFERENT CEREALS A DAY! And not the healthy kind! Each day, I had the singular joy of choosing between Cap’n Crunch, Apple Jacks, Frosted Flakes, Coco Pebbles, Granola, Reeses Puffs, Frosted Flakes and Golden Grahams. Some times they’d substitute certain cereals and give us the delightful pleasure of eating Rice Krispies, or Coco Puffs, or Special K or Lucky Charms or Raisin Bran — but no matter which way you looked at it, I was in heaven. For the first 2 weeks of college, I had cereal for every meal. EVERY. MEAL. And I never got tired of it. Hell, I craved it more than ever. Cereal is the kind of food where one bowl is just not enough. Not at all. One bowl means three bowls — and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

4. Funfetti Cake

There are just too many good things to say about funfetti cake. First of all — it’s called funfetti cake. Does it get any better than that? Second of all — it’s taste is unmatchable. I once made a funfetti cake at my house (from one of the easy-bake packages) and I hate half the cake on my own. The cake itself is soft and sweet, so you feel like you’re eating funfetti clouds — and the frosting … oh! The frosting! You just slather it on like oil on a bikini model and go crazy! The best thing about funfetti cake (well, depending on what side you’re on) is that you can eat massive amounts of it, and yet feel like you’ve only had one slice. Funfetti cake is the only cake I feel like I could eat fistfulls of and not be ashamed of myself. Well, okay, that’s a lie. I might feel ashamed of myself — but that would be WAY afterwards. I’d only feel ashamed as I wash the frosting from my hands. But, I’ll be honest, I’d feel great as I shove fist full after fist full of funfetti clouds into my ready and willing mouth. Oh, Lord, don’t just let the poor eat cake — at least let them eat funfetti cake.

5. Sushi

And yes, when I say sushi, I mean ALL KINDS OF SUSHI. No mattter what kind of sushi it is, whether it’s tempura, sashimi, tuna, eel, swordfish, crab or ANYTHING, it’s delicious, it’s refreshing and it’s CLASSY. Now, please, don’t think that this delicacy has made my top 5 because of it’s classiness — because, if you thought that, you’d be dead wrong. It’s up here because it’s delicious. It’s up here becuase you can consume massive quantities of it, feel great afterwards, and be up for more in a few minutes. Sushi is bite-size — filled with so many separate bits of goodness in every delicately wrapped rice-roll of love. For instance — take the legendary rainbow roll. In one perfectly wrapped roll, you can enjoy the diverse tastes of tuna, halibut, salmon, yellowtail, avocado and rice! Then, just drizzle some soy sauce on that baby and what do you have? You’ve got yourself a miracle wrapped in seaweed.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 29, 2010 7:16 pm

    Sushi and funfetti? Yes. Yes indeed.

  2. Vic permalink
    July 2, 2010 4:55 pm

    NUTELLA? Really? NUTELLA???????

  3. July 19, 2010 1:50 am

    Even its shape look dull, but it happens to be so hard.

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