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The word “love”

May 25, 2011

So yeah, I watch the OC a lot. Wanna fight about it?

And also, *disclaimer*, this blog post may initially fool you into believing it’s all about the OC, but it’s actually about something else — guess you’ll have to read it to find out! Ooooooh!!!!

Anyways, in the OC, which is essentially a dream world filled with marble table tops, large, shiny, black cars and devastating love triangles, there’s a lot of drama. There’s a lot of high schoolers shooting other high schoolers. And there are a lot of declarations of love.

And that last bit is what pisses me off the most.

Okay, I get it. Some guy punched some other guy at some other, other guy’s beach house and now the girlfriend that caused the commotion in the first place has to shoot one of them, because, well, you can’t take both of ’em to prom! You know, just the typical high school experience.

And yeah, some kid’s Dad headed a ponzi scheme that devastated the entire community and also had a gay love affair with that kid’s best friend’s brother who is secretly the half-sibling of the town’s mayor who’s dog is from another planet, but hey — don’t we all have neighbors that are a little off-kilter?

But the one thing I cannot accept is the flippant manner in which these characters use the word “love”. By the end of this show’s stellar 4 season run, each character has said they are “in love” with at least 4 different people. Four! And they’re not even out of high school yet!

Which brings me to my actual point — have we suddenly forgotten what a heavy, important and meaningful word “love” is?

I now realize, that in today’s society, love has lost its meaning. If it hasn’t, then tell me why there are so many divorces! If people took the time to understand what they’re getting themselves into when they say “I love you,” maybe they’d say it less — and only when they mean it.

Call me old fashioned — but I know that, when the time comes for me to say “I love you,” its gonna be a big fuckin’ deal because, when I say it, I’m going to mean it.

And what does it mean to “mean it,” you might ask?

Well, in my humble opinion, when you say you love someone, you’re not saying, “Oh my god, I have overwhelming feelings of passion, tenderness and emotion for you. I want to kiss you — even when you look ugly! I love hearing your name and saying it and holding your hand.”

Don’t get me wrong, those feeling are all part of the general emotion, but for me, you should not use the L word unless you also feel these things:

1) You know the person inside and out. You have spent enough time with this person to know the things that absolutely SUCK about him/her, and you have moved past it and are willing to be with that person when they suck AND when they’re awesome.

2) You love that person so much and know the personality so well, that you are 100% certain that you will never become bored with that person. When you say you “love” someone, that supposedly means that you want to be with them forever, and forever is forever, so you’re pretty much locked in. And if you’re not down to chill with that person every day for the rest of your life even when they’re going through their periods of suckage, then keep your damn mouth SHUT and save “I love you” for your cat.

3) The love you feel for your significant other makes you a better person. If you’re in a relationship with someone who makes you feel inferior, you’re not in love. You just idealize the person enough to allow yourself to feel inferior, which isn’t love — it’s idolatry. But when you’re truly in love with someone, simply thinking about the way you feel should make you feel important and powerful and that, I think, is real love.

4) You don’t feel as though you’re missing out on anything. When you’re in love and think you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you should never feel as though it’s difficult to reserve yourself for just one person. I believe that if you’re actually in love, everyone else’s face should blur when placed next to your loved one and the idea of ever being with anyone else should seem absurd and insulting.

I know people who have told each other I love you after only knowing each other for weeks, and I cannot understand that. How can you truly know you love someone after such a short period of time? How can you be certain? How, in that short space of time, could the other person have revealed their complicated intricacies — unique to only them — that serve as the foundation upon which you build your true love?

I wish people would stop throwing love around. It’s been tossed about so frequently in today’s world that it’s no longer as special as it used to be. People say it out of guilt, out of inspiration, out of necessity, out of depression, out of desire, out of hopefulness, out of ignorance.

But people shouldn’t feel obliged to say it. Love is so powerful and wonderful and unique that it doesn’t come around every day — or every year even! Either the kids on the OC are the luckiest people on the face of the planet for finding 4 true loves a piece in high school alone, or they’re idiots who don’t understand the significance of their emotions. You can be the judge of that one.

To quote the greats, love is, in fact, a many splendored thing — but it shouldn’t be a many-spoken thing. It’s special. It’s one-of-a-kind. And you should find another person who is truly special and one-of-a-kind to you, and say it to that person.

Call me old fashioned, but when I say “I love you”, I’m going to mean it.

Get psyched.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Gus permalink
    May 26, 2011 9:36 am

    Grammar alert!

    • emiliab9291 permalink*
      May 26, 2011 4:09 pm

      Stop it with the grammar. If you don’t have anything to say about the content of the blog, then please refrain from commenting.

  2. Eric permalink
    October 27, 2011 6:18 am

    Hi Emilia,

    Wow! Thats some nice writing there… I read in in one breath.
    And there’s a lot of truth in your words.
    Just wanted to say that I agree, and that true love is so much more then what many people think.

    Btw: are you thinking of making your job of writing? You know how to put your thoughts on “paper” so well!

    A big pat on the shoulder!

    Eric.

  3. November 17, 2011 6:45 pm

    Nice….

  4. March 31, 2012 11:50 pm

    ,,,,,,

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